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crystalmethbc.ca :: View topic - Just Wanna Talk
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Just Wanna Talk
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phoenix
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Joined: Jun 11, 2005
Posts: 44

PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2006 9:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi S Very Happy

Sorry havn't logged on in a few days....

Your friends just don't "get" it now...they will appreciate what you have done after they clean up themselves. I have had that experience too. They can't know how hard it is, how much it hurts,and how relieved you become to leave it behind.

You are the 'scout'- and when they get to their breaking point, and you show them you understand, they will be SO grateful, and in awe of the strength you have to do it alone.

They may be trying to quit now- and having no sucsess.

Give them some time, the true friends will be there down the road.

I know it is hard to feel abandoned right now- but you can only do so much. You are doing battle, and winning. I am so proud of you!

Laughing
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aprylmyst
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Joined: May 27, 2006
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Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2006 8:18 pm    Post subject: Totally relate Reply with quote

I am the same age and I have been clean 5 months on 5/29. I do the same thing. I think about that old me and I go to these sites just to remind me of the horror it brought as well. I just wanna talk too. I need it. My mom just thinks it is something that will go away, and the rest of my family is hooked on it. It has become a raging problem in Northern and Central Minnesota, and even as I write this I think about how great it would be. Even though it rendered me and my two small children homeless. And myself jobless. If you ever just wanne talk give me a PM. I can listen as well as talk. Stay Strong, Easy and out.


Aprylmyst
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April M Allen
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phoenix
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Joined: Jun 11, 2005
Posts: 44

PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2006 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations, April ! Very Happy

I sincerely hope you and your children are doing well.
{{{}}}
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walkingdead
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Joined: May 19, 2006
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2006 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

phoenix wrote:
hi S Very Happy

Sorry havn't logged on in a few days....

Your friends just don't "get" it now...they will appreciate what you have done after they clean up themselves. I have had that experience too. They can't know how hard it is, how much it hurts,and how relieved you become to leave it behind.

You are the 'scout'- and when they get to their breaking point, and you show them you understand, they will be SO grateful, and in awe of the strength you have to do it alone.

They may be trying to quit now- and having no sucsess.

Give them some time, the true friends will be there down the road.

I know it is hard to feel abandoned right now- but you can only do so much. You are doing battle, and winning. I am so proud of you!

Laughing



im not really sure if they will ever clean themselves up, and ya they dont know what i am goin thru ur right, i just wish that they would get their heads out of their asses ya know, i am trying so hard to stay strong, thank you for the support thank you so much, i have none here around me physically
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walkingdead
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Joined: May 19, 2006
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2006 8:40 pm    Post subject: Re: Totally relate Reply with quote

aprylmyst wrote:
I am the same age and I have been clean 5 months on 5/29. I do the same thing. I think about that old me and I go to these sites just to remind me of the horror it brought as well. I just wanna talk too. I need it. My mom just thinks it is something that will go away, and the rest of my family is hooked on it. It has become a raging problem in Northern and Central Minnesota, and even as I write this I think about how great it would be. Even though it rendered me and my two small children homeless. And myself jobless. If you ever just wanne talk give me a PM. I can listen as well as talk. Stay Strong, Easy and out.


Aprylmyst


congrats on the sober time, y ai know what u mean about ur mom saying it will go away my whole family says that, bleep they should know its hard cause they used to be on it heavy, ya my b/f used to live in minnesota and he said it was gettin bad when he left, thank you for talking with me also , and thank you for listening, you stay strong also, sounds like we have alot in common
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phoenix
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Joined: Jun 11, 2005
Posts: 44

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2006 11:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

S- your parents used too? wow, and they are clean now as well? Do you think they are isolated by being clean, they way you feel you are? I am guessing a lot of THEIR peers are useing too....man, that is a tough one.

I hope y'all are keeping it together; if it is true your parents are recovering as well, then they have more insight than my family did! By the time I told some of them what had been going on in my life, I was close to bottoming out; they had no real point of referance, but were supportive. There are some I will likely never tell, of course.

There is no way around the struggle it is. It bites, and hard. The long term effects? Who knows.... I try not to dwell on the what if's but stay informed as well. No doubt I have altered myself on some levels, and that contributes to the overall blahhhhhhh depression.

*%%^$#@%&((##@^&!!!@*!!!!!!!!! Now, I just hate that evil sh*t and what it did to those years ....I totally understand the desire and ability to continue- that is what makes it such a deep relationship. Scars I get reminded of every day. But wtf. Can't unring that bell- so I count myself lucky instead that I didn't fall any further than I did. I miss some ppl- but i have let new ones in- and Sara, I know you will be able to one day too.
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walkingdead
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Joined: May 19, 2006
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2006 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yes, my parents used for years, they also used to cook when i was younger, really young, yes they are clean but they lost everything and gave up evrything. i remember one day coming home from school and EVERYTHING in the house was gone, i mean EVERYTHIG, i mean all that was left was me and my sisters clothes. that was one of the last times i remember, i do remember when we were little, and we always asked what that smell was, well they always said they were cleaning the drains and pipes, bleep when i got older and started to do it myself, i knew exactly what that smell was. one day my mom and dad said....hey we are moving, well that was 10 years ago, and they moved us here, they have none of their old friends, except for 1, he is the only one, and he has always been sober, i do remember that 1 time one of their "old friends" went to my moms workand wanted to "talk" she called my dad, he came to her work, and it wasnt pretty, he told that guy that if he evr saw his face again, he kill him, he never heard from him again....see my mom and dad had a reason to give it up....me and my sister. my mom is not very supportive, my dad is but we just donttalk about it, one time, he caught me with 8 grams, and all he really said was "honey, i cant get you out of that much trouble, not the kind that will get you in" i mean i know they have cleaned up and done it so i try to think about that and know that if they can i can.....i just hope that i have the strength to continue...thank you for listening and talking to me
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phoenix
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Posts: 44

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 1:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, how are you doing?


Thanks for filling me in on your parents. It gave me something to think about. I can't imagine feeling like I had anything to do with my own kids usage- your mom must really be hurting with that knowledge. Your dad does sound supportive- even if it is few words, you know that he understands, is realistic about your situation. I am sure they love you very much. I know my child is what keeps me clean, away from the scene. The only way I would relapse is by the unthinkable happening. I had no plans to be a parent, but it has given me a lot already. And as a mom, may I say that it is always there- the feeling you can't do enough, or get it right, that you could have handled something some other way. Mothers guilt runs very deep Laughing

Just wanted to say hi, and hope you and your family stay connected. They can be the greatest asset to staying clean.

Take care, sweetie Wink
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walkingdead
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Posts: 24

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 6:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ya my family is nuts, very dysfunctional, see i think my dad does understand and care than my mom, im not sure, my mom is never there for me and neither is actually, they have been so cruel to me over t he years which i wont get into, my mom never even asks how i am feeling, or how my day was, she will hug my sister and not hug me, its so messed up, i jsut wish they would let me talk once in awhile, and let me get my feeling out, noone will ever lemme do that, so thank you for listening
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phoenix
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Posts: 44

PostPosted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 10:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ya, I know families can be the source of misery as well as comfort. Sad
Sometimes they end up being the only ones standing around you, though, and you have to take the bad with the good. I call my friends my Chosen Family, and have some that are solid, long term, and love unconditionaly. I wish everyone could say the same- I know I am really lucky.
At the end of the day, though, it comes from within; our ability to pick ourselves up, and give our selves comfort and acceptance, and make the hard choices for our own betterment.
I know you can do anything you need to do, Sara. You are an amazing woman. Small pieces fall into place the further along you go-keep in touch, I really do care about you staying clean.{{{}}}
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walkingdead
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Posts: 24

PostPosted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey thank you very much
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phoenix
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Joined: Jun 11, 2005
Posts: 44

PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing When I read some of the stuff I have written, it sounds so clique ridden....but ya know what? Cliches wouldn't be cliches if they weren't common truths. I don't have anything but concern for giving someone a hand, a shoulder, an ear, to help their way out of the life. I wish there were more ppl in this site, because we need each other. I know I need to feel like I can give something, to redeem the time this sh*t took from my life and those around me. Take care, S Cool
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walkingdead
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Joined: May 19, 2006
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 11:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you so very much, i am very glad for the things you ahve said, and for the advice you have given me...tonight was by biggest issue yet but i will discuss that in My Neverending Struggles
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