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crystalmethbc.ca :: View topic - Who do I tell
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Who do I tell

 
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justalittlewhile
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Joined: May 02, 2006
Posts: 2
Location: BC

PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 9:49 am    Post subject: Who do I tell Reply with quote

I don't know what to do...I am addicted to crystal meth so badly and I can't function without it but who do I go to for help? I have been living a lie for years...nobody knows about my addiction, I just go about my life using but keeping it hidden and everyone I know will be so angry. I have a job that I can't just leave and I have pets that I can't just leave. My dad died not too long ago, my mom has never really been a mom though she is in my life. Our dad raised us and he was the most magnificent dad in the world. I feel like I have let him down and I need to get better for him. I live with my two sisters. My older sister I don't know how she would react. My little sister uses too...she doesn't hide it well and so my older sister is so concerned about her and the way she acts with her makes me afraid to tell her about my own addiction. I just don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. I don't know if I can just come out and say it to everyone in my life...I am wasting my time, my money, my life, my family on this drug but I don't know if I can get out of it. I don't know what to do...
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Barbrasive
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Joined: Nov 12, 2006
Posts: 14

PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 4:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My condolences for the loss of your father. Sad

You are from Hope? Such a great name... The movie Crystal Fear, Crystal Clear was shot there. I don't know much about the town; it is a place with limited resources, I imagine. Are there any drug counseling services there? NA?

You have so much on your plate! Besides the grief of losing your father, the concern for a sister who is using meth, as well and the responsibilities of job and pets. Kudos to you for keeping all those balls in the air. You obviously care for your family, and have compassion for the other sister who is worried about meth use already.

Can you cut back, begin a weaning process? I don't know what to suggest, but maybe someone else does know more about the resources in Hope for you and your sister. It is a difficult drug to stop, but many have done it. Don't be afraid to ask for the help you need. Let us know how you are doing.

Take care, justalittlewhile.
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sparkle
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Joined: May 14, 2005
Posts: 23

PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You have already made a huge step in admitting you have a problem with meth and asking for help!! And you CAN stop doing it. I know other's that have and it's the hardest thing they've ever done but it's POSSIBLE to get your life back! You have to start distancing yourself from the people around you using...the ones that call themselves friends but steal your stuff when you nod off. stick to yourself and wean yourself off. substitute something else less addictive that takes the edge off until the cravings stop. celebrate and reward yourself when you use less, or less often! try and find a friend or doctor who you can trust and share with them. even though they may feel they aren't able to help, just talking with them will help you. keep busy. boredom is the enemy. you have to help yourself here....also you're exhausted and need vitamins and nutritious food...lots of water. lots! keep vids and games around. get out into nature. think about what it would be like eventually to volunteer your time helping kids get off meth. Find your purpose. Believe in something. You may need anti-depressants or something for anxiety to help you through withdrawal. Eat lots of candy. Colour. Write. Paint. Eat. Sleep.

Good luck! Sorry this forum is not used more. Please stay in touch.
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Barbrasive
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 10:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey there, justalittlewhile, how is it going?
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justalittlewhile
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Joined: May 02, 2006
Posts: 2
Location: BC

PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 12:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel like my life is going nowhere. I do this alone. I keep a completely normal life addicted to crystal meth. It means my life is going nowhere. I have to get off drugs. It is tearing me apart inside every single day I cry ten times a day because I am so lost. But I take a deep breath and stop thinking about it. I know that I am just falling deeper and deeper into this. I want to run away from everyone for awhile. I want to run away somewhere and get better. I don't want to keep lying and I don't know what to do.
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Chelsea_Youth
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Joined: Dec 29, 2007
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi there justalittlewhile. If you'd ever like to speak with someone directly, you can email me at youth@crystalmethbc.ca
I hope you are well today.
Chelsea
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cyndilou
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Joined: Feb 18, 2008
Posts: 4
Location: colorado springs

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 5:19 pm    Post subject: hey girl Reply with quote

i can relate to you alot girl. i was a completly functioning junkie! well for the first little while i was using! it turns out its not possible to function correctly on drugs! i will be the first one to say i had to be put in a situation here i was forced to stop. i was an iv user and was a compulsive criminal. i was arrest for various crimes and was forced to stop. i wish i could say i could have done it on my own but it would be a lie. i currently go to cma. (crystal meth anonymous) its a life saver! i love it! anyway. if you need anything girl, let me know. i know how it is to feel like you have no one and no one wil understand!
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sparkle
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Joined: May 14, 2005
Posts: 23

PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi there JALW...how are things going for you? One of the things I remember when trying to quit was how alone i felt trying to hold everything together. I think Crystal Meth Anonymous sounds like a place where you could feel supported. That's pretty cool.
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Barbrasive
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Joined: Nov 12, 2006
Posts: 14

PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

justalittlewhile wrote:
I feel like my life is going nowhere. I do this alone. I keep a completely normal life addicted to crystal meth. It means my life is going nowhere. I have to get off drugs. It is tearing me apart inside every single day I cry ten times a day because I am so lost. But I take a deep breath and stop thinking about it. I know that I am just falling deeper and deeper into this. I want to run away from everyone for awhile. I want to run away somewhere and get better. I don't want to keep lying and I don't know what to do.


I did the same-kept my use from friends and family, until it got too far out of hand and I wasn't able to function in a legit way. Meth took 6 years of my life and ruled it. I clearly remember the point when I realized it had control of me, not I of it.

The pressure your under is evident, and you seem to have the desire to heal, to detox. It is no easy thing-everything will change, and yes that includes the relationships you cherish. But. It doesn't mean they will be changed for worse. I alienated a lot of people with my use.(or rather what they perceived as just erratic behaviour, since my use was by and large on the sly) Those who truly cared for me stood by me when I set about cleaning up. One big lesson I learned was that help comes from sources you never thought existed, and sometimes doesn't come from where you expected it to. Be open to help, it can come from unlikely sources, in a pay it forward kind of way.

Please know this-it can be done and it will alter all aspects of your life, but you will come out the other side intact, and stronger. I wish I could reach out and just give you a hug, let you know you are not alone, and that you can do this. Take care, seek the help you need. xox
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sparkle
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Joined: May 14, 2005
Posts: 23

PostPosted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 3:15 am    Post subject: hep from unexpected sources Reply with quote

Good point BB...I have even started a journal to document all of the serendipitous and unexpected moments and people who came into my life and changed my world.

when you genuinely try and change your life in positive ways, and get rid of that heavy burden by admitting defeat and seeking help, by being open and honest and just dealing with the consequences.....(what's the worst that could happen?) , then the Universe seems to guide and protect you. And I'm not a new ager, but it sure happened to me and others !

But it's all about genuine gratitude and compassion for others. As addicts we are so self centred and full of ego and denial that it takes some time and silent reflection to realize how we have appeared to others. That process is painful but it's what allows us to break through that wall and WANT to change. Volunteering is a good activity to not only keep you busy and meet new friends, but to give back and build up your self esteem.

Hope you've found a good listener JALW....
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