Earlier this month, the 19-year-old finished a recovery program where she tackled her addiction to crystal meth, attending the 90-day program at Burnaby's Charlford House to confront her demons and put the past few years behind her.
"It's the hardest thing I've ever done," she says.
She started using drugs at 15 after her boyfriend and others introduced her, first to crack then crystal meth. Last fall, she'd finally had enough and started on the road to recovery, first spending nine days in detox.
When she turned 19 in November, she was slated to enter a recovery house in Maple Ridge, a stay that ended abruptly, though the reason was not due to drugs but to the fact she violated house rules by using the phone.
This turned out to be a blessing in disguise for Meyer because she ended up at Charlford in a program that offered her more time, though she admits that she was a bit 'loopy' and 'confused' at first.
"I had to start over in a new atmosphere," she says.
Her days typically started at 7 a.m. with aerobics followed by chores. Group sessions would follow from 9 a.m. to noon, and work on her 12-step program from 1 to 3 p.m. After an early dinner, there would be evening meetings.
"You have to go to meetings to stay clean," she says.
The house was an eye-opener, with women from all backgrounds with different addictions. She was the only one coming off crystal meth. She also found she was the youngest; her roommate, for example, was 55.
Of the people in the house, 10 of their contacts outside died during the duration of Meyer's stay, and for some, the lure of going back proved too much as they left and began using again. In all, 32 people went through while she was at Charlford. About half left or 'got loaded' and were forced out.
Not everything at Charlford was rosy and she found herself packing up her stuff at one point.
"There was a couple of times I wanted to leave."
For Carla one of the toughest points came at Christmas, as she was not at home with her family. While she admits if she had still been on meth, she would not likely have been with them anyway, but the realization was still upsetting. While her parents saw her every few weeks, the Christmas lights were a reminder of what she was missing. "I cried for like six hours straight."
The stay in the city also provided her a chance to see the Downtown Eastside first hand for the first time. She doesn't doubt for a second that if she continued using she would end up there. It was an experience that continues to motivate her.
"I wish I could go out there and save everybody."
If life at Charlford provided some pain, there were also positive, life-changing experiences. She describes 'little miracles' like when she was describing a rainbow one day to one of the other women in the house who had been blindfolded as part of her treatment. Then, three months to the day, they went out and another rainbow appeared before their eyes.
For Meyer, the program was about getting in tune with spiritual matters. The concept of God can mean different things for different people, she says. For one person, it was a dog that had died. Whatever the source, the process is ultimately about acknowledging a higher power.
"You've got to live spiritually," she says.
Through the 12 steps, the people in the program have to look at what they have done, whom they have hurt and how they can change. For Meyer, this meant pulling up a lot of childhood issues as well as her life with the old boyfriend she was with when she started using drugs.
"We're so used to playing the victim. It's so easy."
Another important moment for her came in late January, when Charlford held a big alumni meeting of 150 of the women who had gone through the program. Meyer was impressed by the fact some had been clean for a decade.
Simply being in the city away from her past provided a 'clean slate' for Meyer, and now back in Chilliwack she has to focus more, to avoid the temptation to succumb to the habit, especially with old friends still using that are not far at hand.
"Everywhere I look here is memories," she says, adding, "I know there's a Main and Hastings in everybody's mind."
Meyer wants to get her Grade 12 and later look for a job. She would also like to help others as a motivational speaker or perhaps work with those in the criminal justice system battling some of the same addictions. The key, she says, is to live by example rather than by forcing things on people needing help.
Just as important is sending the message to the broader community about people in her situation.
"We're just sick people trying to get well. We're not bad people trying to get good."
Meyer admits her parents have her on a short leash while she is at home. She attends meetings and support group social events. She works on attributes such as patience and talks with God and with her sponsor, and she knows everybody from her support group is just a phone call away. One of the big victories from the experience, she says, is that she is no longer unhappy with the person she is. For Meyer, life now has to be as simple as taking each day one at a time.
"As the day goes, little miracles happen," she says. "This is a clean slate and I'm not willing to mess it up".
