I was a typical teenager who wanted to experiment with all kinds of drugs because there was nothing else to do. My family life was a wreck, so all I had to do was sit in my room and get high all day. I only smoked weed, did a little coke every once in awhile, and dropped acid. I had no idea what I was in for the night I went to my first black metal show.
My girlfriend and I went to an emperor concert and met some guys that were playing in the show before the band came out. The drummer bought me a beer and they kicked us out because I was underage and drinking… whoops. He felt bad so he and his friend decided to take us to their pad and smoke weed with us. He was 21 and I was 15, but I didn’t care at the time. He was hot so we went. We stayed the night.
The next night he calls me and asks if I want to go out. Naturally I said yes. We wound up at some tweakers house and he asked me if I wanted to slam some meth. I told him I never did it before so he injected me. Yeah, my first time in the veins. I was a 15 year old retard and from that second I was hooked.
Time passed and I only did it occasionally when I was with him in the beginning. Then one day when I was 17, I was coming down from a 2 day high and I threatened my entire family with a knife. My mom said some pretty rude stuff and I snapped. They arrested me and threw me in juvy till 3 days before my 18th birthday. When I got out, that’s when I ran into another ex boyfriend who was a tweaker. That’s when I started smoking it. Bad idea. I was a pretty girl, so everyone around me fed me dope. I don’t think I even had to pay for any for two years, now that I think about it. I never had to hook or have sex with anyone or anything. They (the tweakers) just liked being around me and I never had to do shit. I got high for free. That made things bad.
Naturally though, the meth starts to poison your mind. I’m a pretty intelligent person; I have a high IQ, and a high sense of logic. That doesn’t mean a thing. After only two years of use, I literally turned into a raving lunatic schizoid. I finally snapped one day and thought the cactus outside were cops about to attack me and I was about to kill myself. That made me quit.
I moved to Georgia doing one of those traveling magazine sales jobs. I got clean and didn’t touch meth again until I was twenty one. Go figure, it was another ex who got me back into it…..
I had my son at 19. I didn’t do meth or anything when I was pregnant. After I had him I settled down and played mommy. It all changed the night a new boyfriend would bring a tweaker by and let me hit the pipe. All the sudden tweakers came outta the woodworks again to feed me dope. I gave my son to my mom during my 2 month dope binge. I started running Mexicans and decided……. WTF am I doing? I quit right then and there. My son was more important. I got clean and got my stuff together again. That is, until a really bad accident happened.
In Nov of 2004 I got into a bad car wreck and while avoiding an animal on the road, I flipped the car and killed my ex’s brother. I was sober. After that happened, my life was a wreck. I was suicidal and didn’t care anymore. I attempted suicide and they took my son away. After that, I had no reason to stay clean. I said to hell with it, and started tweaking again.
It only went on for a few months at a time, I would get clean, try to start over, but when I drank I just kept dropping my guard and getting high. It was vicious. Things got really bad for me.
FINALLY last year I met my current husband. He has been the greatest support I could have ever imagined, and of all things he is in law enforcement so I never have to worry about doing meth again. He is good to me, I’m happy for the first time in years since everything happened, and he sees tweakers all the time so I told him if I ever tweak again, to slap me. He said he will. Were now pregnant and I’ve been sober for a year. I feel for the first time I’m safe from that evil drug. I cut everyone from my life that I associate with it and I’m happy. I want to wait a few years so I can get some credibility, but then I want to use my experiences to help addicts. I’m one of the lucky ones who got out of it. Now its time to help others.
Anyways, that’s my story.
