My son was involved in a serious motorcycle accident. He was a passenger on the back of the bike. He was listed in critical condition, with internal injuries.As time passed he slowly recovered and went to live with his uncle,since he did not want to come home with me,his step dad, and little sister. There was more freedom at his young uncle's home.
My son was introduced to a girl, who introduced my son to crystal meth. They both fed off each others addictions.My son got into a life of crime,stealing cars, to support their addictions. When I found out they were living on the streets,we took two ferries to try and find him.
We stayed at my stepbrother's place(my sons uncle),and waited hopefully for my son to show up(my stepbrother said that he usually would eventually show up for some food). When he finally did,a few days later, it was 4am. He couldn't speak to me, he was so wasted. I hurt so bad inside,and wanted to just throw him in our car and take off. However,my common sense told me the law would charge me for kidnapping and I decieded that this was not the right move(GOD HOW I HATE THE SYSTEM).
I tried to talk to my son.Here I was getting a hug from my 21 year old son,who was telling me"Im not trying to hurt you mom""Im just not ready to give this life up yet". Then he left,and we had many sleepless nights.I couldn't believe I was going through this.It wasn't like he didn't have family who didn't give a damn.I realized that the addiction was winning.
My son ended up going to jail,after being caught and wasted out of his mind.He was bailed out of jail by his uncle,but breeched and went back into the jail again.He phoned me from jail,to my surprise,asking me to get him out of there. I went to his bail hearing and posted surity for him,under the condition that he get help for his addiction. He agreed.
At this time I did not know that his addiction was crystal meth.I only found out when we took him to the health unit drug counsellor.He said that he only smoked cystal meth, on occasion with friends.He said that since he liked to smoke, he was attracted to the smoke,and had not done it that much.He said he never smoked crack and never would.At that point,I didn't know what to do,I still don't(ALL TRUST OUT THE WINDOW).
Since there are no beds available in rehab,the health unit was the next best thing.Some times he will go outside and disappear for a little bit. If I mention this to his prob officer,he will go back to jail, and my son will never have a chance to get better. I feel so alone in this. I was offered counselling, but declined it,pretending I understood when really I don't because I don't like to share my private life with a stranger,and I don't want to show my weakness as a mother.
Today,I noticed some paranoia reactions that my son displayed.I don't know if it is the side effects from the cystal meth, or the head injury from my son's accident. I feel so alone,this is the only way to speak about our problems,and feel safe in talking about it here on the net.
I don't know what to do?
