Family members

KC · New User Joined: Jun 14, 2005 Posts: 2

I have a 22 yr old son that has been using crystal meth for almost 2 yrs now. I have tried so many things but he just won't listen. I get weekly phone calls that he is going to kill himself. I went to the town he is in in the interior and packed him up and brought him to the Island. He was here one week and he up and left while I was at hospital recieving a transfusion. He came back for two days about one month later,and got a few of his belongings. And was gone again. I have talked with him and told him he needs help,but he refuses rehab or councelling. He is also selling it,and that is one of his excuses, is he won't be able to make that kind of money anywhere else. I am waiting for a liver transplant as I got Hep C through blood I recieved when I gave birth to him,and all this stress is not good, but how does a mother not worry. I don't know what to do anymore. Or is there anything I can do being he is not a youth?

Mizzem · Regular Joined: Jun 06, 2005 Posts: 14

KC you have a lot to handle right now. Please look after yourself first, because crystal meth addiction is a battle of the self...your son has to want to quit and he obviously is not ready to make that decision yet.

I think it's wonderful that you have tried so hard to help him. Getting a user away from his environment, his friends and his "customers" is almost always the first step. These are the most likely triggers that will convince his brain into thinking he must have more of the drug. Most crystal meth users try unsuccessfully to quit many times. There are some good tips from former users on trying to quit or reduce one's use on the Help for Users page.

You do not say how much he is using but if it has been over a period of years, and he is involved in selling it as well, he is living in a dangerous and violent world.

Keeping in mind that it is the love of the drug that is controlling most of his decisions, I hope that you will put your own health first and find ways to deal with your stress while seeking good supports for yourself while awaiting surgery.

I hope that you will be able to find a parent support group in your community or on line. Mother's care deep. Believe me you are not alone. Good luck!

phoenix · Regular Joined: Jun 11, 2005 Posts: 44

I have been clean for 3.5 years, after 6 years use. I put myself through hell, but I did walk away....Like many people around me, I had to reach my own personal bottom before I could commit to withdrawl from the drug and the lifestyle.

Ellen · Regular Joined: Jun 06, 2005 Posts: 12

Congratulations Phoenix!! It must feel good to feel good. Please share your story and how you were able to leave this drug - it would be so helpful to others. Battling a meth addiction isn't easy but your strength to overcome is an absolute inspiration! Your wisdom would be invaluable. Very Happy

KC · New User Joined: Jun 14, 2005 Posts: 2

Phoenix, so happy to hear you could kick the habit, but could you share your story as to how. And tell me did your family ever turn their back on you? I find that very hard to do, I love my son very much and want nothing but the best for him, but it is killing me everytime I get another call. PLEASE share your story.

gina · New User Joined: Oct 30, 2005 Posts: 2

kc i feel for you. my partner was a user. i know it is hard to have a loved on out there using. things got so bad i had to leave. i had to break all contact, and i worried and feared so much that i would get that dreaded call. my partner too would call and make threats to kill himself. he would be in tears and sound so desperate. then he would be inraged and sound so scary....... things can get pretty hard.
all i can say is you really need to take care of yourself, that is the best thing you can do for him now. let him know that when he is ready to look at his problems you will be there. But you can not make him or do any of the work for him, that is the hardest part. the more you try the less likely he will look at it himself. its kind of tough love and the hardest things you may ever do, it was for me. this is just from my experience. my partner is now clean and working on recovery, but it was and still is his personal journey, and not an easy one at that. I am here and i listen when he wants to talk.
it does happen, when they are ready

huerita70 · New User Joined: Dec 15, 2008 Posts: 1

I AGREE THAT YOUR HEALTH COMES FIRST.I HAVE BEEN IN RECOVERY NOW FOR 2 YEARS AND IT TOOK HAVING MY DAUGHTER TESTING POSITIVE FOR ME THAT MADE ME HIT ROCK BOTTOM AND SEEK HELP FOR A STRIGHT 6YR ADDICTION. I LOST MANY THINGS IN MY ADDICTION FAMILY, FRIENDS AND MOST OF ALL MY OLDER CHILDRENS TRUST AND LOVE AND EVEN AFTER BEING CLEAN FOR 2YRS THERE IS STILL SOMETIMES THAT THEY DON'T TRUST ME AND THEY HAVE A GOOD CAUSE FOR THAT BY MY OWN CAUSE. YOUR SON WILL COME AROUND WHEN IT'S HIS TIME BY WAY OF PRAYERS BELIEVE ME MY FAMILY GAVE ME THAT TOUGH LOVE AND IT KILLED ME INSIDE BUT THEY NEVER WENT TO SLEEP OR ATE A MEAL WITHOUT ME IN THIER PRAYERS. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR SON BE STRONG FOR YOURSELF FIRST GOD WILL PROVIDE FOR THE REST.
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